Before we close that chapter...

Hello all!

Before 2013 ends, I would really like to thank each and every one of you who made 2013 a memorable year. Unlike all my 'Count My Blessings' posts that I posted in all my blogs every year, I won't specify who I am thankful for this year. It doesn't matter right?

2013 has been a mundane year. A really very mundane year. It doesn't seem as special or eventful as last year. 2013 just sped by like a race car. I'm living each day normally and I don't even remember a single drama that occurred this year. I just can't wait to end my polytechnic studies. I struggled many times this year when I tried my best to let go of things I shouldn't hold on to. It's something I'm learning as I grow up every day.

But it wasn't that bad either. 2013 was filled with happy and joyous memories. SO THANK YOU!!!

And before we close the last chapter of 2013, I hope that all of us would let go of the unhappy memories in 2013 before we embark on a new chapter in 2014. It's not about the unhappy ending that we get. It's about the story.

Lastly, I hope that all of us will reflect and count our stars! Have a very happy new year!

It was a mad experience trying to live in entirely different worlds today and I can't believe that I am actually going to surrender to the sad truth.

Maybe it's just not for me. I'm too old for this shit.

Sorry for committing that grave mistake today. I might have hurt you, or maybe I've only hurt myself. I've promised myself never to do it again, unless you initiate one.

And I'm secretly hoping you do.

"This clock never seemed so alive..."

Desiree, why you so lame?

SIP report is driving me crazy.

And I am RED BOSS.

Get it?

get It?

GET IT?

Yes, I am boREDss

Goodbye

I can't decide whether to be mad or sad that my parents are not supportive of my dreams. The reason why I chose this diploma is because I want to be a lawyer.

After learning from a coursemate that we are allowed to defer if we are accepted into a university, I seriously can't be more thrilled because I intended to earn my own money for expenses.

Today I was so happy to have come up with my lifetime plan, told my parents nicely about my plan and before I could even finish talking, my mother just cut me off by telling me indirectly that she is not going to pay a single cent.

First of all, I didn't even intend to use her money because my parents are money minded. Yes, I am serious. They are money minded. I've known all along that they will never fork out a single cent, and so that is why I won't even bother asking her for money. I replied nicely by telling her that I will take study loans, that's what almost everyone is doing. Before I can even explain the process, she shouted at me with all the stupid money talk again.

I was so mad at her because she don't understand. She doesn't listen. I just went to my room and cried. And the next best thing was that she came in my room and tried to convince me to not to go overseas and she kept saying she don't understand why I don't want to pursue law in Singapore.

That's it. After so many times of telling her how impossible it is for poly students to pursue law in Singapore and today's incident, I realised she don't listen. She's just like my father, whom she hates a lot. She's always complaining about my father and telling us that all he communicates with us are the 3 questions, 'have you eaten?', 'how's school?' and 'how are you?'. She's the same. The last time we had a real proper conversation was when I was in primary school.

I had enough. I am really sad to say that I don't have a loving family. And Yes. I've given up in school and my future. Goodbye.

I hate growing up. I would really love to turn back time and enjoy my childhood days. I hate life now. I hate reality.

And I am really mad at those who are enjoying life. Life is so unfair.

Lost

The conversations I had over lunch with a group of friends today bother me somehow. They actually do have a point. I really really really don't know what to do now.

As much as I hate knowing the truth, I am thankful for the truth being made known to me, for I now do not have to seek answers and live in denial.