It's an ugly ugly world.

I think I am one who can't cope in society well. I am quiet. I dislike talking to strangers. I have the policy of only meeting people whom we have interacted with before, and not talking to strangers who randomly add us on Facebook or those who come up to us and ask us for our numbers. It's not that any of these usually happen to me. With my looks, nah... It will never happen.

Oh and talking about looks... I don't bother dressing up or dolling up. Majority of my clothes are what I bought during my secondary school days. I don't put make up. I don't bother looking nice when I go to school, which is something I still don't understand about other people - do you go to school to study or display your fashion sense?

I don't go drinking like how every legal person have already done. No, I have never been to clubs, pubs and bars.

I've always thought that I can cope well without being like everyone else. But no, majority of the kids in poly is like this. They fall in at least one of these categories. And if you talk to them and display your non interest for the things they have interest in, that's it. They judge you.

I've always been known as the quiet girl in school or some other freak whom no one dares to approach. Sometimes I'm also known as the person who mingles with nerds or losers in school. That's okay, really. I'm not hurt or anything. I don't care what people say.

I've always thought I'll be able to survive without being friends with all the cool kids.

Until last night when I saw something during work, it really hit me. People can actually climb up the ladder without working hard because of their social skills and looks. That is what really disgust me.

Does society really have to be this way? Or is that how we will all become after poly? Ugh. Really can't wait to finish poly and get away from these ugly people.

I dislike the MRT

One of the world's greatest pains is to take the MRT home after work and then squeezing with everyone else like it's the only transport home.

DO YOU FEEL ME?

I am genuinely sad now but it's not something that anyone can understand. I really have the urge to start everything afresh after graduation, never looking back to all whom I've met. They are wonderful memories but it's not something I'd want to bring to the future.

Well... Maybe some are...

Okay, I thought I wouldn't be regretting so much but I am. After seeing all the tweets about Owl City performing live an hour ago, I feel like banging my head on the wall. Why am I so poor?

Be right back. Emoing.

I could seriously just lay in bed forever. Sleeping is very much better than working. Don't get me wrong, I think I kind of enjoy my job but nothing is better than lazing around.

If only someone can hire me to laze at jobs...

Hello internship

The day we've all been dreading for has arrived. Time really flies. We are in our third year and internship starts tomorrow. Haven't found anyone who is really ready for it. It's really a pity that my knowledge of law don't really stick in my head for as long as I want to.

But I am sure we all can persevere through this ordeal. It's not that tough, right? It's just three months.

Sigh. Three months of stressful work life. Goodbye freedom.

Goodbye happy life

The Internet is a lovely place but it gets really annoying when I am trying to figure out where I went wrong with a particular software and even the Internet doesn't help sometimes.

But figuring out how this software actually works at 3:54 am on a Tuesday rainy morning is good, because that just reminds me this is most probably the last morning I can stay up on, thanks to the start of internship tomorrow.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Came across the sad news of a 14 year old girl and I totally understand what she is going through. I can still feel the pain and sadness although it happened to me long ago. I hope she is coping fine and I hope humans like us will be smarter and stop being naive.

I hope humans will learn how to be more responsible.

I am not a liar, you dumb ass

That is one of the reasons why I find my boyfriend ridiculously annoying. He would always call me a liar when I tell him I love him, although he knows it's the truth.

Movie and window shopping with Kong

FAT. FAT. FAT. WE ARE FAT.

Ahh... love my man so much. *_*

Feeling really mehz.

DISCLAIMER: I feel really guilty about tweeting stuff I shouldn't really tweet but I think I really have to type it all out to vent anger. I am just here to vent my anger and if I have offended anyone who turned up for today's outing, I am really really sorry. (Not that anyone from my FAM reads my blog anyway)

HUGE HUGE DISCLAIMER: I still love my FAM.

We had another FAM outing today, one which I thought I would be satisfied with but ended up being really disappointed. No, it wasn't a bad outing at all. Our outing today was similar to the one we had at the end of last year - BBQ at East Coast Park. The funny thing is that I booked the pit next to the pit we booked last year without realising it. Talk about coincidence! I must say that I personally feel that the outing is better than last year's because everyone interacted with one another.

Sure, there are definitely awkward and boring moments but I am really thankful for people who made the effort to hype things up. I mean... how can there not be any awkward moments? A group of people who only meet up about 2-3 times a year and not contacting each other every single day... Well, I think we did pretty well. And I must say, I am really happy with the six new comers who made the effort to interact with everyone else.

So you see... outing wasn't so bad.

The horrible thing about today is the lack of responsibility of certain people. No, I'm not talking about the people who turned up. I am talking about people who did not turn up.

Does anyone know how does a BBQ outing work? I have to text every single one of you to tell you about the outing, venue, time, and price. YES, PRICE. I have to order the food and make payment first. MAKE. PAYMENT. FIRST. So obviously, if you tell me you are coming, I order for you. Simple as that. This year, many people tell me they will be coming for the outing. The number was really overwhelming for me and I have to text AGAIN which makes me feel like I am really annoying. I got the same exact replies for the second time. (I am not going to state exactly how many because that will be easy for anyone to find out who are the irresponsible ones)

Kay Wee and I booked for 20 pax which costs $223.99. (The number of people coming is actually more than 20)

A few days before the BBQ, 3 people backed out due to exams. Okay, well... I understand and that is fine because we can still make a few changes to how much a person has to pay for the BBQ. The difference will not be much. And then, a 4th person turned out to be a vegetarian. Well, I can't make that person pay because all that I ordered is not vegetarian. That was my fault because I didn't clarify. Four people not paying was a little worrying but I always tell myself we can make do with it.

Today, at the very last minute, two more people backed out. I was a little upset at first because it would be too late to tell those who are coming that there might be changes to the costs of each person but ahh... they have reasons and I understand. At least, they made the effort to text me and tell me that they are not coming. So... I had no choice but to raise the amount to a few more dollars per pax.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? ONLY 13 PEOPLE TURNED UP FOR BBQ (excluding Kay Wee and I)

THIRTEEN.

A few morons decided not to notify me that they are not coming. How difficult is it for you guys to have the courtesy to text me and tell me that you can't make it? Is it so difficult?

Do these morons have brains to know that food must be ordered first in order to have a BBQ? Do these morons have brains to know that payment must be made first? DO THESE MORONS EVEN THINK THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE TO PAY FOR THE BBQ?

I'm really sorry to call them morons but they are just too much.

Because of these morons, we ordered too much and we lost lots of money.

Among the 13 of them, I did not request 1 to pay because he is the birthday boy. It was his birthday few days ago and the purpose of this outing is to celebrate us turning one and to celebrate his birthday too. I had no choice but to ask the one who is vegetarian to pay $5 although I really think he shouldn't pay. 1 couldn't pay the full amount because that person ran out of money. Another person didn't pay at all because that person totally has no money.

At first, I was really upset with the person who didn't pay at all because that just meant we lost more money. But well, I always tell them that if they can't afford for the outing today and they really want to go for the outing, I don't mind paying. I'll just take it as that person forgot to tell me that he/she has no money. I feel really guilty tweeting about that person just now. And I am really sorry if the person acquainted with him/her heard me complaining about him/her just now because I was really upset with this whole matter.

So... today we spent about $240 for BBQ (including chips, drinks, etc) and $110 for movie and we only got back $230 in cash.

Oh, did I mention that every single dollar spent is paid by Kay Wee? Kay Wee is not even part of our FAM. Thanks ah, irresponsible people. You don't feel guilty but I do. I feel guilty that my boyfriend has to spend so much money on people that do not even have relations with him.

In case anyone might misinterpret my words (I am sleepy now, no idea if what I am typing will confuse anyone), I would like to emphasise again that outing today was good, I am NOT angry with people who turned up for the outing and those that made the effort to notify me that they are not coming, be it last minute or not. I am very very very upset with people who don't even tell me you guys are not coming.

FUCK YOU ALL OKAY? You irresponsible people are BANNED and BLACKLISTED from any outing.

P.S. Sorry for the expletives

On a happier note, happy first year to us and I am thankful for the people who brought us this far.

And may September be better.