Saturday was beautiful until your name was being mentioned. You disgust and repel me.

The very first time you disgusted me was when we went on a family trip to the zoo. But it's okay... I told myself that you had to act sluttish in front of your family just because you needed money desperately. THAT. WAS. FINE. The second time you disgusted me was when you Whatsapp-ed me and asked for advice on whether to send her to the elderly home because you had no more money. I didn't really lecture you then because you are my elder and I am currently regretting my decision back then. But it's okay... You couldn't do it because almost everyone was against you. YES. I. FORGAVE. YOU. The third time you disgusted me was when you needed me to sell your stupid bags of clothes for money. How much effort did you put in? NONE. Thank God I didn't attempt to sell those too, because I don't see how you deserve it.

And then... Saturday came. That will be the last time you get to disgust me because I decided to disown you. I will never ever ever regard someone who is so fucking selfish to kick an old lady out of the house just because she has no money as my family member.

I really hope that you will get your retribution.

The secret of my heart

I would feel extremely better if my mind stops interfering with my heart. But to be honest, I do not even know what I truly want.

Because I was never there

Well, I am fully aware that your 'everyone' refers to me alone. I. Get. It. Why am I so affected so much by this?

And then this song had to come along, reminding me that maybe you don't exist at all. And then I realised how small I am. Do I only seek for your help in desperate times?

Today is officially the worst day of my life. I'm off to cry to sleep.