I woke up to my senses when I found myself lying in KK Hospital in 2009. It was depressing. I was angry at myself for ruining myself that way. I was embarrassed because both of you had to go through the ordeal with me. I was terrified because the future will never be what I had always expect. I was feeling very lost and did not know what to do, but you had always stood by me.

I was very selfish. I did not think about your feelings. It was always about me. It was always about me feeling hurt. It was always about me feeling depressed. It was always about me being worried for myself. But actually, you suffered more than me. You were angry at yourself because of the path I chose that year. It was not your fault but you kept blaming yourself. You were sad, much more depressed than me, to see me suffer all the pain.

Today, I am feeling the same way as you felt in 2009. I feel so helpless watching you lying in the ICU. You looked so weak. I don't know what else I can do besides praying to God.

It's Mother's Day tomorrow. Please be well.